Monthly Archives: June 2013

Here’s what’s really clutch

ESPN.

The 24/7 sports network is all about clutch. They’ve got a commercial where the word clutch is used seven times, at least.

Even the forum featuring Stephen A. Smith and them other guys after the NBA Championship featured the word clutch ad nauseam. As in, “LeBron was clutch in Game 7, especially when he hit that clutch jump shot to ice the game.”

The Urban Dictionary defines clutch as the ability “to perform under pressure.” Also, “the crucial moment that comes between winning and losing.”

Here are two other words ESPN announcers should learn—redundant and cliche.

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Some people have compared the arrest of Aaron Hernandez—the ex-New England Patriots tight end who is accused of murdering a friend, Odin Lloyd—to the arrest of O.J. Simpson.

But there’s one major difference to me. When O.J. was arrested, I thought he was innocent. Whereas Hernandez seems way guilty to me. Besides being accused of murder, he allegedly shot another friend in the eye last February.

All in all, i think I’d rather hang out with Dick Cheney than Hernandez.
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Women’s softball, men’s basketball, Tiger’s game and those crazy MLB drug users

The Oklahoma University women’s softball team did what they were expected to do–win it all. And they did it right by sweeping a very good Tennessee team in two games, winning the first one in extra innings 5-3. They run-ruled Texas, who at least earned their number 4 ranking by finishing in the top four teams along with the Washington Huskies.

Why do I like women’s softball so much? Because women are the best at it. If you assembled a softball team from an MLB All Star roster–and played by softball rules, including underhand pitching–Oklahoma University would beat that team. Conversely, any MLB team, even the Houston Astros, would crush OU in baseball.

So what? Softball’s a completely different game, a game which women dominate. Because the best male athletes play baseball.

Are there men’s softball teams? Sure. But all the men are fat and they’ve got beer cans on the pitching mound.

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The Spurs won four straight over the Memphis Grizzlies, much to my surprise. I was pulling for the Spurs, but I thought it would go to seven games for sure. Not so. The seven-game series turned about to be the Heat over the Pacers. Barely.

Sure, Miami crushed game seven, but they squeaked by Indiana in the first game. A better coaching decision, and LeBron doesn’t make that gimme layup.

We’ll see what happens next, soon. I’d like to see the Spurs win one more for San Antonio while they still have Parker, Ginobili and Duncan. One more win for the old guys.

But I doubt it. Then again, I’ve been doubting them since the playoffs began.

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So is Tiger Woods in trouble again? Nope. And neither is Rory McIlroy.

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Well, what do you know. Another performance enhancement drug scandal in the MLB. Have you ever seen a baseball game? It’s so boring, it’s amazing they’re not doing recreational drugs.

That is, it’s boring without players on PEDS.

A-Rod and the Brewers Ryan Braun are on the short list for this new steroid scandal out of Florida. I can only hope that Pujlos and Big Pappi show up on the list as well.

Hell, I’d like to see Willie Mays and Stan Musial on the list. Then we can all get back to baseball. Good baseball. Like the baseball we saw during the late ’90s.

Bring back the PEDs. Please.
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