Monthly Archives: August 2013

Broadcaster Jack Clark claims Albert Pujols used PEDs (He also believes OJ killed his wife)

Albert Pujols has used and probably still uses performance enhancing drugs.

There. I said it. Bet I don’t get fired, though. And I bet Pujols doesn’t sue me either. Poor Jack Clark. He got fired and sued. I know that for a fact. (See what I did there?)

Long time readers know where I stand on this issue. I’m against the use of PEDs for anyone under the age of 21. But I think they should be legalized and regulated for those 21 and over who choose to use them.

If prescribed. By a doctor. Under a doctor’s care. Not smuggled in from Mexico and sold on the black market as they are now.

But that’s just my opinion. You see, I miss Barry Bonds. I also miss Mark McGwire. I even miss Roger Clemens (wait… isn’t he still pitching somewhere?). I miss the good old days when giants roamed the Earth and monster home runs rained down like… I have no idea where I’m going with this sentence.

I miss the power hitting. Will someone please wake me when ‘roids come back?

Where was I? Oh, right. Pujols is guilty. Probably not recently, because his hitting has noticeably deteriorated, but back in the day—when he was truly The Machine—I’m guessing he had some good high octane fuel.

Even if you’re against PEDs, you have to at least suspect Pujols used them. The original suspects were McGwire and Sammy Sosa, and when they were caught people said, well at least Bonds is clean. Okay, maybe no one ever said that, but they couldn’t prove he wasn’t for a long while.

So maybe Bonds used PEDs, but at least Jason Giambi didn’t. Okay, Giambi did, but at least A-Rod didn’t. Okay, A-Rod did, but at Melky Cabrerra didn’t, at least Miguel Tejada didn’t, at least Ryan Braun didn’t.

Except they all did after all. And now what do people say? At least Pujols didn’t.

There’s a name for people who can’t see the PED forest for the trees. And that name is Bob Costas. (But don’t get me started on Costas.)

One more point, and then I’ll shut up about this subject for another six months or so. Why didn’t people go into a big tizzy when Jim Bouton wrote about major leaguers using methamphetamines in his book Ball Four? How come no President ever mentioned that little item in the State of the Union address?

Because I’ve got to tell you—I’m definitely anti-methamphetamines. Those are very bad performance enhancers, even the relatively tame meth tabs Bouton called “greenies” in the book.

Funny, though. No one got thrown out of MLB because of Jim Bouton’s book. No sports writer took away a Hall of Fame vote because of greenies. And no one got up in arms when Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris took their special vitamin B treatments—via injections with a hypodermic needle.

Hypocrisy is everywhere. Baseball fans have lost all perspective. One thing’s for sure. Whether you’re for PEDs or against them, they are absolutely ruining the MLB game. How can Barry Bonds not be in the Hall of Fame based on everything he accomplished before the PEDs?

I give up. I think from now on I’ll just watch the Little League World Series and the college game. Maybe some Triple-A every now and again.

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