It’s early September and the Longhorns suck

I figured out who Charlie Strong is. He’s Tony Kehl. What, you never heard of him?

Coach Kehl (pronounced kale) was Sonoma State University’s head coach from 1982 to 1986. He never had a winning record, not once, and his overall record at SSU stands at 12-40.

When I was a sports writer for the college paper, the Sonoma State Star, I would ask the sports information director and the athletic director and professors in the booster club and fellow scribes and broadcasters and pretty much anyone who listened why—in the hell—does Coach Kehl still have a job?

Everyone would give me pretty much the same answer. “He runs a clean program.”

Charlie Strong runs a clean program, too. It remains to be seen if it will be a winning program. In fairness, it was a winning program for about a week. And it won’t be a losing program for about another week. But don’t worry kids, it’s a clean program.

It better be. Because the Longhorns have lost a dozen players in the name of law and order, god and country, and the American way.

Let’s take a look at those names. Offensive tackle Desmond Harrison missed the first two games. Mighta coulda used him in the running game against BYU. Kennedy Estelle, another offensive tackle, was also suspended for last night’s game against BYU, along with running back Daje Johnson and safety Josh Turner.

Deoundrei Davis was kicked off the team a couple of days ago, but who cares, he was a backup linebacker.

But running back Joe Bergeron was a starter, and Strong kicked him off the team back in early August, along with Jalen Overstreet, Chevoski Collins, Kendall Sanders, Montrei Meander, Leroy Scott, and Chet Moss.

The Longhorns lost to BYU, 41-7.  Which makes it even worse than last year’s 40-21 loss.

Except this year it was a clean loss. So why don’t I feel better?

• • •

Man, Taysom Hill looked like Tim Tebow on steroids last night. He ran the ball well, scored three touchdowns, and passed from the pocket as cool as the other side of the cliche.

Fox broadcaster Joey Harrington kept saying, “I think Taysom Hill should be in the Heismann trophy discussion.” No kidding. How about you start it, Joey? To his credit, he eventually did.

Despite the loss, I saw some hope on the Longhorns team. Malcom Brown, the defensive tackle, played his ass off. He earned 3 total sacks — two half sacks and two completely on his own. Jordan Hicks and Quandre Diggs, who intercepted a pass in the end zone, also played well on the defensive side.

On offense, QB Tyrone Swoopes did not suck. He only threw two bad passes overall, one of them an interception, but he threw a touchdown pass to John Harris, who also played well. Swoopes hit 20 of 31 passes for 176 yards, and Harris caught 8 passes for 77 yards.

The punter (yeah, I’m reaching) is pretty damn good too, and averaged 42 yards on 8 punts with a long of 52.

That said, next week the Longhorns will have their asses handed to them by UCLA.

• • •

As of this writing, Romo just threw an interception to Willis in the end zone and the 49ers lead 21-3. It’s always amusing to watch the Dallas Cowboys each week and see what new and innovative ways they come up with to lose.

Still a Seahawks fan, though.

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