Monthly Archives: January 2015

The race between the tortoise and the hare …

Sucks.

The end.

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Cornerback Richard Sherman might be Seattle’s weak link

You do what you have to do to win, I suppose.

Patriots and former Seahawks cornerback Brandon Browner has promised to go after Richard Sherman’s injured arm during the Super Bowl.

According to a report by ESPN’s Ed Werder, Sherman’s injured left elbow is likely torn ligaments — a much more serious injury than a simple hyperextension, and one not easily repaired. It’ll take off-season surgery to get it to heal properly.

But that isn’t the main problem.

Sherman’s girlfriend, Ashley Moss, is pregnant, and while the baby isn’t due until next week, babies have been known not to cooperate. If the baby chooses to make an entrance Sunday afternoon, it could send Sherman to the hospital faster than any collision incurred on the field of play. Even if the baby doesn’t come until next week, thoughts of pending fatherhood will likely be hovering around Sherman’s every move.

Besides. Every guy knows inflated girls are a bigger distraction than deflated balls.

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Good news about the Texas Longhorns basketball team

I have to give UT basketball credit, they are more consistently disappointing than UT football.

The football team used to let me down once a week, tops. The basketball team lets me down two, sometimes three times each week.

As of this writing, they’re losing to Iowa State 73 to 59. Amazingly, after losses to Kansas, Oklahoma State, and Oklahoma, they’re still ranked 19th. Is that in the Big 12?

Also, by basketball I mean men’s basketball. Always. I don’t cover special olympics. (Pause.) Ah, the freedom of having only three readers.

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Let’s write two

Hall of fame baseball player Ernie Banks, nicknamed “Mr. Cub,” died Jan. 23, 2015 at the age 83.

The shortstop and later first baseman started his pro career in the Negro league baseball with the Kansas City Monarchs in 1950 before joining the Chicago Cubs in 1953. He hit 512 home runs in his major league career.

But here’s the amazing part.

Everyone I ever met or heard from who knew him described him as probably the nicest guy they ever met— definitely the nicest sports hero they ever met.

And that might be his greatest accomplishment.

PS — I meant to finish this earlier so it would be my second Saturday post, because Banks was always fond of the double-header and would say, “Let’s play two.” Unfortunately, this column sneaked in a few seconds into Sunday. Oh, well. I guess Banks deserves to be number one anyway.

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UT loses to Kansas, 75 to 62

Today, #17 Texas lost to #11 Kansas by 13 points, despite a clear height advantage held by the Texas Longhorns.

I guess size doesn’t matter. Unless you’re Kentucky (also tall) who whooped the Kansas Jayhawks 72-40.

Today’s loss comes as no surprise to this sports writer, as the Longhorns have lost every damn game I’ve watched on TV this season, as well as two games I didn’t watch  — Oklahoma and Oklahoma State.

On the bright side, this might be the only sports coverage you read or hear all day that isn’t about Deflategate.

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What did Brady know and when did he know it?

Deflategate, gotta love it. New England Patriots coach Bill Bellichick is a riot, isn’t he?

First he illegally films his opponent’s practices (allegedly) and now he deflates the footballs to make them easier for QB Tom Brady to throw — they’re probably easier to tuck as well.

Was Brady in on this? Or was it just Bellichick’s idea?

Also, did Nixon act alone? Or was it a conspiracy?

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The real victim in Sunday’s NFC Championship game (hint: it’s not a Packer)

Do you know who the real victim of Seattle’s improbable comeback from a 16-0 deficit at halftime to defeat the Green Bay Packers 28-22 is?

Bill Buckner.

That’s right, the first baseman from the 1986 Red Sox baseball team. Because everyone is comparing the guy who muffed the onsides kick (Brandon Bostick) to Buckner’s muff in the World Series. Even me now (thanks John).

Sure, the guy who muffed the kick was Brandon Bostick. But two months from now we’ll all be saying, “Yeah, that guy, what’s his name. You know. The Billy Buckner of the NFC Championship.”

It never ends, does it Billy. It never ends.

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Russell Wilson is the new Joe Montana

Yes. Luck was involved. Not the one from Indianapolis, the amorphous one we all entertain from time to time. Seattle needed the right bounce on the onsides kick to win it, but bounce it did.

Russell Wilson. Like Joe Montana, he’s got ice water in his veins. He sucked for 7/8ths of the game, pretty much. But that last 1/8th was utterly amazing.

And let’s not forget Beast Mode. Marshawn Lynch is the new Roger Craig.

On to the Super Bowl.

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Let’s hear it for the Penn State Pedophiles

In case you didn’t hear, Penn State’s football team is getting back 112 wins wiped out during the Jerry Sandusky child molestation scandal, and the late Joe Paterno has been restored as the winningest coach in major college football history.

Because football is way more important than child care.

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Now that I’ve calmed down …

Make no mistake about it, I’m still stunned by last night’s game, but I’ve had time to reflect. I learned three things last night.

1) Ohio State recruits only great quarterbacks. It doesn’t matter where they are in the pecking order, they’re all great.

2) Urban Meyer must be a great coach. He must be. I thought he was riding on Tim Tebow’s coattails. I was wrong.

3) The college National Championship game is great. I’ll be back next year.

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