While I was sleeping…

Where have I been?

My Giants won the World Series and I didn’t say a word. Why? The whole point of this column is to write what other sports writers don’t, and I certainly have had that opportunity.

For instance. Bruce Bochy and Brian Sabean both swayed like willow trees during the post-game interview. What’s up with that? Is this some knee-jerk reaction from living in earthquake country? Or did they both drink from the greenie coffee pot.

(If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please read Ball Four by Jim Bouton. If you do know what I’m talking about, read that book anyway. It’s great.)

But I digress. The reason I feel so vacuous after the Giants second World Series win in three years is because I did not get the revenge I have sought since 1962.

I want the Giants to win the World Series. Again. Against the the big dog.

Yeah, the Giants beat the Texas Rangers in 2010. And in 2012 they beat the Detroit Tigers, sweeped them for crissakes. But I love those teams—the Rangers are my favorite AL team and the Tigers were my dad’s favorite AL team.

I want the Giants to beat the Yankees in the World Series. The NY Yankees. The damn Yankees. That would be true revenge.

Can I get an amen?
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Amateur refs could lead to professional gamblers

If any gangster types are thinking about fixing NFL games, now would be the time. After all, if some of the fill-in refs have been proven to be gushy fantasy-football-playing fans, then it’s likely that some of them could be convinced to take a bribe as well.

Hey, it’s not like these temp refs have a long career to lose, right?

Besides, the NFL is all about gambling—that’s why they play the game. And I’m fine with that, unless the fix is in.

Is the fix in?

I just saw a Green Bay Packer defensive back get mugged on Monday Night Football, yet the refs called him for interference. In fairness, he did block the receiver’s hand with his face.

Seriously, is the fix in?

I don’t gamble on football, professional or otherwise. I prefer to put my money into sure things like beer. You buy it, you drink it, you get a buzz. Every time.

But I might start betting on the NFL, if I can find the right advisors. Connected guys. Guys with diamond pinkie rings and colorful nicknames like Bobby The Hammer or Mickey The Bat or Joey The Guy Who Fixes NFL Games.

Then again, maybe I’m wrong about this thing of ours. Maybe the mob isn’t fixing the games. Maybe it’s some other man, the 12th Man. The crowd. Mob rule. Did you watch the other games this week?

The Titans upset the Lions. At home. The Raiders beat the Steelers. At home. The Vikings surprised the 49ers. Also at home. The Ravens just squeaked by the Patriots, in Baltimore of course, and the Seahawks beat the Packers in Seattle with a Hail Mary pass.

There’s no place like home. With that good home cookin’ and all the fixin’s.

Look. The NFL is right, I’ll keep watching. I watched during strike-shortened seasons, so why wouldn’t I watch during a strike-corrupted season? It’s only a game, right? Why shouldn’t it be hilarious?

By the way, the Vegas spread had Green Bay winning by 4-1/2 points. If that last-second Seahawks pass Monday night is ruled an interception, the Packers win by 5.

Seriously, is the fix in?
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Two sports events you might have missed

A lot’s happened since my last report. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Matt Cain’s perfecto against Houston or Tiger Woods three wins on the PGA tour, along with Zach Johnson’s win at the John Deere Classic, as well as the NL blowout in the MLB All Star Game.

But you can get that all elsewhere—I’d rather talk about two underreported events in sports.

First, the big fight between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen in the UFC. Didn’t read one word about this in my local newspaper, the Austin American-Statesman—not even a sports brief.

Which is too bad, because I had to work late and couldn’t watch the fight. The next day at work, I asked if anyone knew who had won, and nobody could tell me. So I decided to see if I could find out the result organically.

I went to my local deli where the guy behind the counter practices martial arts and asked if he knew the result. He didn’t.

Then I tuned in Sports Center, and while it was the day after the fight, I didn’t hear the result during the times I tuned in. Didn’t see it on CNN or MSNBC either. Didn’t see it on local or national news.

Finally, three days later, I gave up and Googled it. Silva dropped big mouth Sonnen in two rounds, it turns out.

Okay, so it wasn’t exactly the fight of the century, but UFC deserves much better coverage than it’s getting.

You can count on me to cover the big UFC fights in this column, as cage fighting has it all over boxing these days.

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Canada won the gold over the US in international football. No, not that soccer stuff, real football, American football.

In the Under-19 Championship of the International Federation of American Football (IFAF), Canada’s junior national team defeated the US 23-17 in the finals. Amazing.

This took place three miles from my house at Burger Stadium in Austin, Texas. No, I did not go, figuring it would be an American blowout, but I did listen to it on the radio. Still stunned.

Canada jumped out to a 10-0 lead and never relinquished it, although the game did come down to a failed onside kick.

I’m not big on covering high school sports, so you probably won’t hear me mention many high school games in the future. But Canada beating the US in football is like the US beating Canada in hockey.

You have to pay attention to something like that.
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